Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Marketing Trends That Can GO AWAY Now



1.       Calling ridiculous luxury items “MUST HAVES!!”

This is absolutely insane.  Oxygen is a must have.  Orange tights for this season – not so much.  I have seen $800 purses and $2200 chairs marketed as Must Haves.  Even if one stretches the definition of Must Have to things beyond basic food and shelter to include modern life necessities like a cell phone and the occasional haircut, $800 handbags are nowhere on that list.  In this current recession, people are really looking at their spending and thinking about what they really need, what they really want, and what they can really do without.  Calling luxury items Must Haves is just insulting and wee bit, dare I say it, out of touch.
            Replace with - “Luxurious Treat!”
Not only is this definition actually accurate, but it is way more tempting.  Everybody wants a luxurious treat!  Who wouldn’t want one?!  I certainly do!  Nevertheless, girl better be making some serious bank before she buys herself an $800 purse.  Either that or she better carry that bag for 15 years.

2.       Donating $0.20 for every $50.00 I spend!

I have to admit I fell for this one once.  A dear friend’s mother had breast cancer, and after her surgery I sent her flowers in a breast cancer bouquet that pledged something like one dollar to a breast cancer charity.  The dear lady said thank you so much for the lovely flowers and donation.  But, since she (like her daughter) is an awesome, awesome lady, she probably would have liked it even more if I had just taken that $35 I spent on the flowers and given them to a good women’s health organization in her honor. 
            Replace with - Donating Money
When my dear grandmother died, several people sent me flowers.  But the most meaningful gift I received was a donation in her memory to the Alzheimer’s Association, as she suffered from the disease.  But a donation doesn’t have to be just a direct transfer of money.  Last Christmas, I got my nephew a yearlong family membership to the local Natural Science Museum.  A great non-profit museum gets a little money, and his parents can take him anytime all year.  And it’s not just museums and charities; there are wonderful non-profit performing arts organizations that would love you to send a little money their way.  Maybe for Mother’s Day mom would like an outing to the Ballet.

3.      Books titled -  Eye Rape:  The Science and Controversy behind the Contact Lens

Decades from now, future librarians are going to be sitting around their offices wondering why the turn of the 21st century was the era of Flashy Title:  more descriptive and accurate subtitle.  When and why did so many book titles start adhering to this title format?  Do authors really want their books to look like every other book on the shelf?  The flashy part of the title is often a bit misleading or is constructed of some irrelevant cliché.
            Replace with – The Controversy and Science of the Contact Lens or Contact Lenses, Science and Controversy
You might say, what’s the big deal – it’s the same book any way you title it.  Maybe.  But I think titles have a way of shaping what a book is about, and they affect which books get published and read.  Does every book have to try to grab readers with an intense, striking title?  What if the book isn’t about something flashy?  What if it’s about something simple but very interesting?  Or maybe just something important?  A little more diversity in nonfiction titles might encourage a bit more diversity in book content and then a bit more diversity in general life.

4.      Freakishly Expensive Strollers

Ever since Miranda wheeled around the Bugaboo in Sex in the City, top of the line strollers became commonplace.  I’ve heard women say, “You can’t be seen with just any stroller.”  And they aren’t just for the super rich.  I have friends who have no retirement savings and credit card debt and student loans to beat the band who purchase $900 strollers.  Oh please – get a reasonable, safe, and sturdy stroller and put the rest in that kid’s college savings account.           
Replace with – The realization that your kid doesn’t give a shit about what stroller you wheel them around in
Seriously.  Do you remember your stroller?  No, you don’t.  Don’t tell me your kid is much safer in a $900 stroller than a $150 stroller.  That’s total hogwash.  If the stroller is the status symbol for you, maybe you need to think about why you are using your child’s accessories to show off how rich you are.  Unless you are super duper duper rich, your kid will appreciate that money in a college savings account (or hell – even a prom dress savings account) much more.

5.       Organic Milk with Extra Sugar in it

Holy Hell, people!  When we were kids milk didn’t have sugar in it.  There was chocolate milk, maybe, sometimes.  But it was a treat.  I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve seen some drink at some fancy coffee place called Fair Trade, Skim Milk, Organic!  But whamo – more sugar and calories than a soft drink.  Is it delicious? Oh yes.  But it’s a dessert, not your morning coffee.  It certainly isn’t health food.  Organic does not mean healthy by association.  This trend is even worse for children’s drinks.  It’s often impossible to find individual cartons of milk for children without some sort of sugar, vanilla, or chocolate added.  Of course, it’s still labeled as organic and low fat.  I once heard a dairy industry spokeswoman say that sugar is added because anything to get children drinking milk was a good thing.  Oh bullshit, lady.  That’s like saying every apple has to be a candied apple.
            Replace with – Milk with Fat in it
Could somebody please tell me why they started taking fat calories out just to put sugar calories in?  This problem is pretty well established.  Even if the calorie count is the same after fat is removed and sugar put in, that sugar spikes your insulin and makes you hungrier.  You can do a little experiment yourself.  Drink 100 calories of orange juice.  Are you hungry in 20 minutes?  Drink 100 calories of low fat milk.  Are you hungry in 20 minutes?

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