1. Calling ridiculous luxury items “MUST HAVES!!”
This is absolutely insane. Oxygen is a must have. Orange tights for this season – not so
much. I have seen $800 purses and $2200
chairs marketed as Must Haves. Even if
one stretches the definition of Must Have to things beyond basic food and
shelter to include modern life necessities like a cell phone and the occasional
haircut, $800 handbags are nowhere on that list. In this current recession, people are really
looking at their spending and thinking about what they really need, what they
really want, and what they can really do without. Calling luxury items Must Haves is just
insulting and wee bit, dare I say it, out of touch.
Replace
with - “Luxurious Treat!”
Not only is this definition actually accurate, but
it is way more tempting. Everybody wants
a luxurious treat! Who wouldn’t want
one?! I certainly do! Nevertheless, girl better be making some
serious bank before she buys herself an $800 purse. Either that or she better carry that bag for
15 years.
2. Donating $0.20 for every $50.00 I spend!
I have to admit I fell for this one once. A dear friend’s mother had breast cancer, and
after her surgery I sent her flowers in a breast cancer bouquet that pledged
something like one dollar to a breast cancer charity. The dear lady said thank you so much for the
lovely flowers and donation. But, since
she (like her daughter) is an awesome, awesome lady, she probably would have
liked it even more if I had just taken that $35 I spent on the flowers and
given them to a good women’s health organization in her honor.
Replace
with - Donating Money
When my dear grandmother died, several people sent
me flowers. But the most meaningful gift
I received was a donation in her memory to the Alzheimer’s Association, as she
suffered from the disease. But a donation
doesn’t have to be just a direct transfer of money. Last Christmas, I got my nephew a yearlong family
membership to the local Natural Science Museum.
A great non-profit museum gets a little money, and his parents can take
him anytime all year. And it’s not just
museums and charities; there are wonderful non-profit performing arts
organizations that would love you to send a little money their way. Maybe for Mother’s Day mom would like an outing
to the Ballet.
3. Books
titled - Eye Rape: The Science and
Controversy behind the Contact Lens
Decades from now, future librarians are going to be
sitting around their offices wondering why the turn of the 21st
century was the era of Flashy Title:
more descriptive and accurate subtitle.
When and why did so many book titles start adhering to this title format? Do authors really want their books to look
like every other book on the shelf? The
flashy part of the title is often a bit misleading or is constructed of some
irrelevant cliché.
Replace
with – The Controversy and Science of the
Contact Lens or Contact Lenses,
Science and Controversy
You might say, what’s the big deal – it’s the same
book any way you title it. Maybe. But I think titles have a way of shaping what
a book is about, and they affect which books get published and read. Does every book have to try to grab readers
with an intense, striking title? What if
the book isn’t about something flashy?
What if it’s about something simple but very interesting? Or maybe just something important? A little more diversity in nonfiction titles
might encourage a bit more diversity in book content and then a bit more
diversity in general life.
4. Freakishly
Expensive Strollers
Ever since Miranda wheeled around the Bugaboo in Sex
in the City, top of the line strollers became commonplace. I’ve heard women say, “You can’t be seen with
just any stroller.” And they aren’t just
for the super rich. I have friends who
have no retirement savings and credit card debt and student loans to beat the
band who purchase $900 strollers. Oh
please – get a reasonable, safe, and sturdy stroller and put the rest in that
kid’s college savings account.
Replace with – The
realization that your kid doesn’t give a shit about what stroller you wheel
them around in
Seriously. Do
you remember your stroller? No, you don’t. Don’t tell me your kid is much safer in a
$900 stroller than a $150 stroller. That’s
total hogwash. If the stroller is the
status symbol for you, maybe you need to think about why you are using your
child’s accessories to show off how rich you are. Unless you are super duper duper rich, your
kid will appreciate that money in a college savings account (or hell – even a
prom dress savings account) much more.
5. Organic Milk with Extra Sugar in it
Holy Hell, people!
When we were kids milk didn’t have sugar in it. There was chocolate milk, maybe,
sometimes. But it was a treat. I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve
seen some drink at some fancy coffee place called Fair Trade, Skim Milk,
Organic! But whamo – more sugar and
calories than a soft drink. Is it
delicious? Oh yes. But it’s a dessert,
not your morning coffee. It certainly
isn’t health food. Organic does not mean
healthy by association. This trend is even
worse for children’s drinks. It’s often
impossible to find individual cartons of milk for children without some sort of
sugar, vanilla, or chocolate added. Of
course, it’s still labeled as organic and low fat. I once heard a dairy industry spokeswoman say
that sugar is added because anything to get children drinking milk was a good
thing. Oh bullshit, lady. That’s like saying every apple has to be a
candied apple.
Replace
with – Milk with Fat in it
Could somebody please tell me why they started
taking fat calories out just to put sugar calories in? This problem is pretty well established. Even if the calorie count is the same after
fat is removed and sugar put in, that sugar spikes your insulin and makes you
hungrier. You can do a little experiment
yourself. Drink 100 calories of orange
juice. Are you hungry in 20
minutes? Drink 100 calories of low fat milk. Are you hungry in 20 minutes?
